Burn Me Up in t…

Burn Me Up in the Fire

Caught in the Shadows
Burn me up in the Fire
Caught in the Darkness
Feel me down the Lair

Torch me now
Cleanse my soul
Let my ashes to
The ground sow

Lost in the Shadows
Burn me up in the Fire.

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A Story About Myself

I am Alicia Ai Leng, a senior with the Upper Iowa University, and well, yes, I am majoring in psychology.  Some of you may have met me before, some of you may not.  Whatever the circumstances, I wish to leave you with a lasting message.

 

Lots and lots of things have changed, the magnitude of which is unfathomable.  I nearly submerged myself to learned helplessness.  As a child I was always supressed by the man and woman who bore me.   Both would hit very dynamically at the smallest error I made, and they would hit at each other too when the time calls.  With all the remaining strength I had I returned, again and again, to the home that I lived ‘with’ for more than twenty years.  Each time I went, that courage that had emboldened me just moments before seeped off out of my soul.

 

My first myocardiac arrest surfaced only a few months ago.  That time, things seemed to be running way out of my hands.  I kept on trying to reconstruct the issues that were going on around me, including the social relationships I had, but regrettably I was not very successful. I was already in depression and I had suicidal thoughts back then, for a really long time.  Every time I was desperate, I would stash myself away into stagnant hopelessness and the whole cycle of negativity.

 

Oh well.  The past is the past, and it is my choice not to allow its shadows to creep over and engulf me into perceptual darkness again.  I have decided to brush it all off my coat and focus on the little things that make my day.

 

All these years that I have gone MIA, I have gathered all my swords into my frontyard.  Till today, I am still sharpening them, preparing them for the Battle of Life.People make resolutions every early of the year, in general.  I am making one right now with the relaunching of my blog.  I want to pronounce the message of hope into the lives of the living, the depressed, and the sick, and ultimately the ones who are searching for real happiness.

Red Scarlet