Confessions of a Drama Queen

Use your emotions wisely.

Utilize your emotions with a little bit of wisdom; that definitely would not hurt, would it.

No, no, I am not a superstar… at least not yet.  That I profess.  It is still a long road to travel.

As much as I am, I am not.  It is a matter of self-control, not entirely suppression.  It is a matter of selective demonstration.  In other words, mindfulness.

Being aware of what the self is up to – it really could be just about anything.  An enormous wave of silence is extremely helpful  in such periods of self-discovery.  Oh well, since I mentioned self-discovery, I view life as one endless Self-Discovery Channel, which one could switch back and forth to refresh the mind and hopefully gain some form of experience from it.

I know I laugh a little too much – a bit awkward – but that was only my release, you know.

I know I kind of cry too, at times; that was another way for me to release.  Just in case you have not noticed, but of course you have not.

Whatever I have done, it is only human that I did so.  It has been a hell lot of fun watching each chapter unfold on its own.  However, all of nature allows that even the strongest mind – and heart – will face a load of bricks hurling straight at his thoughts and smashing them and shattering them to a thousand pieces.  And all the poor soul must do, of course, is break down and pour out seemingly endless streams of tears from the corners of the eyelids.

Nature permits release of emotions in subtle ways; why else would there be several facial muscles, twitching all together at once, to put up that sweet smile on that pretty face, and thence light up the world around.

There also is Anger, and Pain, and Hurt, and Jealousy – but the mind shall choose as it pleases what it wishes to display.

Just a part of life.

Red Scarlet

 

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Living a Goal-directed Life

George Bernard Shaw once claimed that he wanted to die all used up.  Do you notice there is a lot of goal-directed meaning in it.

Life with purpose is much more meaningful, much more satisfying to the individual.  Ah, the music I am listening to is quite distracting.  My thoughts are drowning themselves in the whirlpool of words and music.  But well, I might continue writing.

It is the fact that, if you do the necessary math, with all the petty calculations, you realize that there is not much time to be used.  Taking time into consideration, resources pop up in the picture.

Dying used up – when all of yourself has been invested in worthwhile matters.  This not only includes successes, but also failures.  The satisfaction that comes with knowing that you have at least attempted to do something; there is nothing more fulfilling than that.  Trust me.

For doing so brings wisdom, the know-how of paths which to take up along the way.  It puts your life to place, setting your focus on one direction: toward the way of success.

Everyone wants to achieve some kind of pinnacle in their lives.  They want so much to climb the tallest mountain, to cross the deepest seas, and to jump over the highest hurdle… they sometimes forget about what the gear they need to bring along to keep themselves through.

Well, ready your own gear.

Red Scarlet

A Letter to My Brother

Alexander Winifred (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Alexander Winifred.  (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Dear Alex,

You have been a strong-spirited runner and athlete, brother, and son. Your quiet strength was demonstrated through your artworks. You have always been a great digital artist and wonderful writer. Despite the shortcomings you faced as a child, and even more so now, you chose to stay strong and tread through.

Though we do not share the same surname, we have so much more in common. So much more than at surface level. We look the same, share the same dreams, the same bed too, sometimes. Remember those days? We shared the same cane also, at times when poor MaMa was so mad.

It is really unfortunate that you have to go through all these in spite of your age. I never wanted to have you go through all of them alone. Know that though I may be silent, I am vehemently against whatever wrong that has been done to you.

Life is too short, dear brother, too short to go through pain. It is of my most sincere desire that you put your hectic life to a temporary halt, however short, and look back. And remember the times we shared, gazing at the twinkling stars in the night sky and talking endlessly about all the wonderful things we would do when we grow up.

Do you still recall, O Brother, how I used to hug your little head to my chest when poor MaMa hit you so badly? Do you still remember, O Brother, how I tried, best as I could, to comfort you when poor MaMa’s wrath destroyed your hard work?

You have changed because that is always what happens as time goes by – but I have not forgotten. Your heart may be still and cold and hard because of misunderstanding, but I have not had an earlier opportunity to open my mouth.  I may be silent, but I refuse to accept what is not mine.  I may not have uttered a single word, but my heart was bleeding as I watched tears stream out of your little eyes.

You cannot blame someone for something that have never done. Such is one of the worst sins as they result in Hatred, Anger, Jealousy, Dissatisfaction, Hurt, and Pain.

I pray everyday a short, silent, heart-breathed prayer that you are well and strong no matter where you are and what you do. You are now a far-fetched young man with a great many skills and accomplishments. On top of that, I honor you, O brother, for having helped me stand on my two feet that were once broken.

I hope it is not too late for you to turn around now. We had only each other in the darkest hours on Earth. Now it is still not totally light yet, but I do pray that the days do not turn darker for you as Time whizzes by and does its magic.

Dear brother, you shall always be a part of me. A part of my heart. Let go the clutches and live.  Continue running, sprinting, chasing after dreams, dreams that are not of others, but of your own.  Pave your own path toward success, and reinvent yourself.

That is all I shall want to say.  Happy Birthday.

Faithfully yours,

Red Scarlet

*PS:  The author would like to dedicate this short article to her beloved brother who is turning 19 on October 3, 2014.