Love Yourself


Parachuting. That’s me. (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng.)

Part of the things that spills excitement in life is trying new activities that spark and ignite vigor in the eager soul. Yes, I am in love with such stuff, be it music, dancing, traveling, extreme sports, hiking, fashion, educating, entrepreneurship, or just plain old writing. It is a part of me I will never let go. Not for you. Not for them. Not for my faith even.

It has been a long way up, and a hard one too. Glad I made it. Still, the journey is not over. It is my own right to do as I please; I am not even going to hurt anyone. So really, why bother. The only person you are ever going to be afraid of is yourself.

There is a lot of acculturation that I have undergone, seeping into a beautiful love with my own self. It is a lot better to work on one strengths than shift focus on other matters. My faith has educated me to love myself as a woman; it has taught me the boundaries of where and what not to touch. Really, I mean it. I consider myself way better than the average woman, or even the average man (so well, I am at most times snobbish and arrogant). Not to say I feel so great, because I have done some pretty cool stuff like getting into flings and things like that. But well. I have learnt many good lessons in life.

For one thing, while most people my age are happily making babies or just having sex, I take pride that I am 25 years old and still am a virgin. I would love to stay that way as long as possible too, hopefully till 40. Despite dancing like Kesha and making guys go gaga, but well they cannot touch me.

I settled more than MYR50,000 with my own hands, my own toil and sweat – and I was nearly raped a few years back when I first left my abusive home to live alone. I had a terrible accident when I was 13, and I lost parts of my body, ie. a lung and the spleen. I wanted to commit suicide (twice), and I was suffering from depression that got so bad I was going to go sick in the head – but I put an end to it by channeling my thoughts and laying out my vision.

I sound proud of myself, perhaps. To be honest, it really matters a lot for women to develop themselves wholly first before getting themselves hitched. To know themselves, inside and out, is to develop their strengths and proliferate their abilities. It could be anywhere, from school to work to recreation.

Women also have rights to do what they want. They are not baby-making machines or sex dolls. Permit them the time and space to grow and nurture themselves. I for one have my own rights too, and one of the rights is to be left alone. And Coach D*, if you happen to be reading this, I would like to thank your wife for teaching me how to respond to special requests.

Red Scarlet

PS.: Coach D is one of the megaspeakingcoaches from the JT Foxx team.


The Business War Zone: Electronic Dance Movement

Shh!  Look out!

The drones are hovering in the air, mind you.  Be quiet, be still – make sure they do not spot you.  Move stealthily across the corn field, swiftly, but surely.  Lower down your head too, lest they spot you; but keep your ears prick.  See well where the enemy lies; notice when he changes strategy.  And when he does, act quickly – by all means, at the speed of light!  Where you target the enemy …aim and shoot!

Do you hear the commotion from behind?  Put your hand in your pocket …oh, there is only one grenade left!  Never mind, throw it at the crowd anyway!  It is not like I have a problem.  Oh wait, the section of ground five yards away has a bunch of enemies.  I shall throw my hand bomb at them.

Now let them burn, burn, burn.  All almost according to plan.  In my silent thoughts, I said to myself: We will win this war.

Okay, I get it.  This time I will not talk too much, but rather I will sprint straight to the point.  Hope I am too fast though.

The business zone is very much like a war zone.  There are competitors sprouting everywhere.  Yet sometimes, we form allies too.  This is why you need to study your target well. Ask around.  Do your research.  Tabulate your results.  Keep alert to any changes in the business environment.  This is the one factor that you have to consider because it never stays static.  Just like life it is ever flowing, reviberating in its own blood.  When you are ready, however, make sure you are fully loaded – and you have reloads available at arm’s length.  Then aim and fire.

The zone I am entering is filled with music.  Beautiful music blasting from the speakers at the top notes.  Much like the ones at Berlin and Livescape, but with a little twist in the purpose.  Yes, we do have DJs from different parts of the world, we also feature EDM and trance music, we have fire spurting from tiny vents into the air, and we have food and drinks and party packs.  We also have sports, extreme sports like skateboarding and other activities.  Attendees to the event (who are aged from 10 up) are encouraged to participate in the various dance performances, particularly the flashmob that will take place in the afternoon.  This event is called Electronic Dance Movement.

All these is really an effort to help the 7-billion-and-counting individuals know more about positive psychology, amidst the war and dread and pain that result from their own wars, be it the War for Life, the War for Justice, the War for Peace, the War for Rights, or the Inner War.  That there is none other than themselves who have the sole power, the sole capability to change their own lives for the good, the better, and the best.  I have spoken to a few doctors who are advocates for this extremely new branch in mental health to allow me to include the hashtag #PosPsy to link the event in the feeds.

There, of course, will be much, much more for me to give, that hopefully, more and more of the Generation Z will be exposed to.  Me and my team – or crew, more like – plan to travel from country to country every year to spread the message, at all sorts of public sites imaginable.  We even plan on hiring international artists to perform at our events some time soon in the future.

dancemovement      It is not like I have turned into Bad Blood, but, yes, this is how we do.  We aim our target, drop our bomb, and then move on to the next site.

For me to accomplish my entrepreneurial dream and help my team members play their roles, I need some form of funding.  The first event is stipulated to be held at Kuala Lumpur, the heart of the capital of Malaysia, and the costs amount to RM40, 000 for the one-day event.  My team and I are in dire need of raising the amount to kickstart our event.  Thus, I would be very appreciative of any sum, large or small.  As a sign of gratitude, we will advertise your name on our advertisement materials, and also provide you with a token of appreciation.  You can wire transfer to my personal Maybank account (account holder name: Ngiam Ai Leng Alicia; account no.: 1123 0806 1970) if you are interested in providing your kind help.

Much love,

Red Scarlet

P.  S.:  Now who let the dogs out? =D Just saying.


November rains are back.  Everyday it is raining, raining, raining.  The skies are crying, weeping tears of bittersweet joy.  Massive clouds of whitish-grey matter cover the sky, creating a reflecting gloom that shrouds the earth.  Some twists must be taken, must they not?

Even the air is set with a dewy mist.  Winds blow, though not too hard.  The ground is moist; in some places it is damp and soggy from all the wetness.

The wisps of mists fill the air as it evaporates, awakening the senses – perhaps with a start – and the soul, with a renewed vigor, skips along the sidewalks in merriment.  For through pain, through jagged maps, through persistence it came through it all, and is still coming, on its way.  One day soon it shall be no less obvious, because its dear heart would thump with powerful beats along to the tune of the music whispering in its ears.

An afternoon in downtown KL. (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

An dizzling afternoon in downtown KL. (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

November is a beautiful month, the time of the year when Mars and Pluto cross paths and stars collide.  It is the time of the year of every other year when little baby scorpions emerge from their eggs and take their very first crawl.

Oh!  The clock is ticking, and I am running out of time.  I must put on my birthday suit.  For in a few minutes I am turning 24.  How old can I be?

I am in oh-so-deeeeep love with the month of November.

Red Scarlet

PS:  This post was written a few days prior to the author’s 24th birthday.

Turn Down For What?!

You there!  Yes, you!

Please excuse me…. Umm-YOLO!

This is how I express myself.  (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Breaking free!  This is how I express myself. (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Okay, okay.  Really sorry for the abbreviation, because I rarely use them in my writing (it is just not my  etiquette), but guess what: You only live once.  Romance.  Risks.  Life and death situations.  Fight-or-flight.  Or the other way round.  Shame.  Attitude.  Opportunities.  Courage.  Determination.  It is worth the risk.  So take it, god damn it.

This is just a simple little life project of mine, some scheduled before I get married, some scheduled before I think I want to die. I am an expressionist when it comes to art and things like these; I believe in self-expression. I am always wanting to go beyond what I think I can do and do as much as I can, with the time I have in hand.  I am always on the lookout for opportunities, spreading out my dendrites bare naked to really savor the sweet fruits of work.

Life happens, of course, and there is going to be a teeny-weeny little switch in the way things are every now and then.  You just got to adapt.

Just like me and my best friend, partner in crime for life, and love.  He said time will tell, and as time ticked by the minutes, he awakened my soul.  His existence brought a whole new level of experience to me, incorporating more actions and deep thoughts about sharing beautiful times.  Making me think seriously, how do I want to do what I want to do tomorrow?  With whom?

Below is my list:

I want to express myself through music, writing, the eclectic arts, and the sciences.

I want to dance in the rain.

I want to fly with or without wings.

I want to bungee-jump off the mountains in New Zealand.

I want to travel around the world.

I want to explore the earth like a wanderlust.

I want to sky-dive.

I want to climb the highest mountain in the Himalayas.

I want to dive around beautiful Grecian islands in the Mediterranean.

If there is an expedition to Pluto, I want to go too.

What he calls the Rock-Star Personality, because I am always, always wanting to do anything and everything right away.  But he wants me to sit and wait for the moment to happen, because he really, really wants to come along with me.  And I want him to come along with me, too.  I feel kind of sad when we do not do something together.  It is just the way I feel.  Some parts of life can be so hard, but the thing is we will survive.  These are beautiful times.

The only drawback is the fact that right now I am kind of confined to my studies, but only for a little while.  I hope everyone will be a little patient and hold on, because my journey has not ended yet.  From a positive perspective, I sense a lot of excitement in the air.  The vibes are vibrating vigorously between the particles; a whole aura of happiness is beaming between the neutrons and protons, the charges canceling each other out because of the equilibrium, thus making the charge positive.  Sometimes it is too positive I cannot hide… but wait!  I got stuff to do which will be done soon enough, so please, please, please be patient with me, and be good.

At times when it rains so bad the roofs start shaking, I want to go out and dance in the rain.  I want to get wet, so wet that I am drained.  I want to jump off the cliff even, and fall so freely there is nothing to do except living in the moment.  I want to shake, and shake, and shake it all.  I want to break free, and experience life right now, right as it is.  The Blitzkreig, with its natural warring attitude-that I want to fight along also.  And I do not care,  because these make me feel so fulfilled.

You should join me too.  Come on.  Fasten your seat belts.  Ready.  Jump! Beeil Dich. Yallah.


Red Scarlet

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Turn Down For What?! by Alicia Ai Leng is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.
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Maybe I am a little insane.  This I confess.

I just got back to my burrow after a good jog at the nearby track.  It was slightly longer than usual; and here I am referring to the distance covered.

I increased the number of sit-ups and push-ups too.  As I headed out to the nearest 24-hour store, I started feeling a recurring pain in the cardiac muscle.  Oh no, I thought.  Not again.

The first incident came about more than a year ago.  It lasted for just a few minutes – but it hurt enough to claim storage in my mind’s capacity.  Enough to teach me plenty of values.  Of life.  Of the self.  Of the people around me – especially those I care for.

I drink at times, but I have never placed a lit cigarette in my mouth.  I am quite proud of the fact that, each time I hit the community pool, I complete ten full laps back and forth.  Non-stop.

What I have absorbed in my mind has taught me so much about life’s worth.  I have, as of date, already discovered the cause, and in the process revealed the conclusions altogether.  It is not that I wish to vye for fame.  I have simply accepted the dry facts.  Now I just intend to… prolong my lifespan a little bit, perhaps?

My quickest, and also easiest solution, of course, is laughing.  Laughter, after all, is the simplest and most unconventional method of healing.  Among all other forms available, laughing is such a natural remedy, especially for the pain in the heart.  I laugh at anything and everything, so much so friends and colleagues gave me a cute pet-name (that I shall not reveal!).

Yet I see this as a positive activity.  An array of happiness oxytoxins jetspray themselves into the bloodstream from the glands, every time that occurs.  They squirt out and rush off to the cheeks, giving them a soft, rosy glow.  It catalyzes the heartbeat by just a wink, and here even a wink helps.

There is, I presume, of no use, because the Chambers of Life beat so diligently… but no one hears.  And so, I churn out my music on the paper.

Laugh for all of heaven's sake. (Photo Credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Laugh for all of heaven’s sake. (Photo Credits to                            Alicia Ai Leng)

Spill it out.  It is now very close to 3AM, and I have a class at 8.30AM later.  Let’s just laugh.

Red Scarlet

Have You Set Your 2015 Resolution?

One of my 2015 resolutions is to stop using my Facebook like my Twitter, and to use my Twitter like how I am using my Facebook now.

The feeling is hovering in me right exactly where I am writing.  It is a surging feeling, almost as if I am high – though I am not.  The year is drawing to a close, and 2015 is already waving eagerly at me.

I used to shun resolutions.  I used to see and hear of my friends draw out their resolutions; and found them quite silly.  I used to even feel like resolutions resembled imaginary barriers to my personal self-improvement.  That, however, turned out to be the other way round, a thing of the past.

Setting a resolution is like setting a goal.  Perhaps, it might sound like a child’s wishful thinking, but no, it is not.  It takes an individual with a higher maturity level to actually freeze whatever that is being and has been done, and begin evaluating and solving some areas in life.  Similarly, it is taking a step backwards and telling yourself, “Hey, this can be improved; I just have to do something about it.”

It could be anything you do, and even nothing at all.  At times it is best to trash to the bin circumstances you cannot do much about, instead of hog at it all day.  Just allow your own mindfulness and self-awareness to seep directly into the very pores of your light.  Have the wisdom of taking different roads, and keep on track.

Making resolutions.  (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Making resolutions. (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Imagine the inner peace that comes along when you have set your direction.  You do not have to waste time making unnecessary turns.  You would not have to end up banging your head on the wall, however accidentally – or even make merry-go-rounds to get to what you want and need.  You go one straight line, simply because you know where you are headed.  It may be a fast trip down the road, or an incredibly long journey towards the core of the earth, but it is going to minimize a lot of unwanted situations.

And the sense of fulfilment and satisfaction, the Eureka moment, is a wonderful by-product of alleviated emotions.

Do recall to include #StayHappy and #KeepPositive into your list, anyway.

Red Scarlet

Happy Tree Friends

Happy Tree Friends.  (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Happy Tree Friends. (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

A good tree is a happy tree, flourishing with well-trimmed leaves. It grows well, properly nurtured by Mother Nature.  The water from the damp soil seeps into its roots, flowing upwards inch by inch to every end.

Even I myself am wondering why I am using a tree as a metaphor.  You see, that is a good tree.  The branches spread out through the air in several directions with such grace.  A tree well taken care of has a good ending.  It ends well.

A good tree is therefore a happy tree.  Why?  Its needs are met. Its foundations are firmly rooted in the earth, so to speak.  All it has to do now is to spread itself around – around anything it can find.

What makes a happy tree happy, besides of good roots?  How does it stay happy?  Several components to which I could testify, no doubt.

1.  Smiling.

This does wonders to the health.  As I write this, fireworks are shooting in the pitch black sky, lighting it up a little in the process. – Diwali is tomorrow, anyhow.

It does not have to only be the self doing the smiling all the time.  It also involves making others smile, or laugh, perhaps, even.  Whichever is appropriate.

2.  Keeping things simple.

Do not think too much.  Avoid complicating matters.  Life is just as hard as it can get for the self.

3.  Living in the moment.

The mind is a wonderful gift; do not pressure it so, because there simply is no point.  Plans definitely have to be constructed, and some of them will tremble more or less.  Avoid digging the past up and let the future unfold as it wishes.

4.  Thinking happy thoughts.

Focus on thinking happy.  Run after happiness like there is no tomorrow.  Build a conceptual happiness framework in your mind: happy you, happy children, happy parents, happy clients, happy boss, happy everything.  What makes you happy?  What keeps you happy?  Do it.

5.  Surrounding yourself with happy tree friends.

They set you in the mood and share beautiful moments together.  And the happier you are, the more happy tree friends you attract.  It is all in the Law of Attraction.

6.  Acting happy.

Even if you are not happy, at least pretend.  I am serious.  There is no harm making it like you are happy although you are not.  This channels positive energy into the self, and, on a more social level, someone might be able to see your true emotions and talk you out of your suppression.  So act happy.

7.  Saying thanks with that gratitude.

Demonstrating true appreciation with whole-heartedness is totally heart-warming to even the coldest soul.  Appreciate whatever little you have, however much you may possess.  Things are much simpler this way.  Remember there are those not as fortunate as you are.

7.  Discovering the self.

Be a little bit selfish.  Forget the world for a while and do what you wish that others cannot really do.  Go for a swim in the blue oceans.  Go on a hike – or a mountain climb.  Better yet, do some bungee jumping.  Invest on knowing more of the self.  Maybe you could even skip across mountains.  You never know.

8.  Be willing.

One of the precepts of positive psychology is that you need to approach issues with an ever eager heart.  I know you may not like Justin Bieber, but just as he mentioned in his rather infamous number, never say never.

Have fun!  The world is a wide, wide place.  Allow your branches to explore.

Red Lace Underwear

Red Lace Underwear.  )Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Red Lace Underwear.  (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Do you know how much penchant I hold for objects of such worth?  Undeniable.  It is so beautiful, silky, and comfortable.  In addition, it has this sort of sepulchre silence that hangs over itself I cannot live without.  I am just about to begin a life-long romance with these things.

It was approximately six months past my 22nd birthday – I had done my own laundry , and so was bringing the clothes out to dry in  the sun, as usual.

I hung everything up on the line neatly and made sure there was some space in between the pieces to let the air seep through the tiny seams.  I drapped my red lace – the very first one I had – at one good end of the line.

That done, I went upstairs to prepare for a long day at work.  It was a fine day, diddle here, daddle there, and to cut the long story short, I was back past midnight.


Imagine my dismay when I realized that something was missing from the bunch of clothes I had hung earlier.  My red lace underwear!  Oh, come on, world.  Seriously.  It was gone and nowhere to be found.

Two months have gone by with the wind, and I have been searching north, south, east, and west for the same purchase.  I have found a blue lace, and a black one, and also other colors too, but I could not find it!  It was always a different color, or else the color was not good.

Well, today I decided to make a bold step and visit the mall in front of my burrow.  There are a few lingerie boutiques there, which I attempted to go to the day before – but the bus arrived very late and so the shops were close by the time I actually arrived.  But guess what?

I found it!!! Bought it, even!!!  Woo hoo.  Ich sein exstatische heute.

Red Scarlet

My Psychoanalysis

It is now September 14, 2014 – an extremely hot, sunny day.  I have just finished lunch, and replied some company stuff, so now I have another fifteen minutes to do some writing.

I have to admit – my mind is racing!  Okay, let’s relax a little bit.

My Psychoanalysis.  (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

My psychoanalysis. (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

You see, I am very aware that I have an incredible pal to maintain.  She is still in her youth, yet unlike the rest of the infants her age, she has this beautiful, captivating silence.

She is always here, there, everywhere to me.  For me.  There is no one as patient as she is who listens a full, absolute 100% to every rant, every muse, and every single glimmer, hope, and love, and lust that exists in my heart at any point of time.  The best part is that she is always behind me as I walk  through life’s little and big journeys.  She shares my delight with me; and when I wound up in a dead end, she helps to guide me back to the open roads again so others can see me.  That is why I invest a lot of effort in setting the stage for her appearances.

She is my sexy psychologist of whom I have grown totally fond of, my very own psychoanalysis.  She does not just exist for me; she lives for you too, and that is very incredible.  I may be visiting her a little lesser these days due to my working around the clock, but I still post her my love letters every now and then.

P.  S.  I am not a lesbian.  I am in love with who I am.  Peace!

Red Scarlet