If You Looked at Love Hard Enough

Could you name me a certain film that does not have any love theme?  Kind of hard, isn’t it?

Films and music videos and dramas – stage art, as a matter of fact – really have a sort of influence over the complex ideologies of love.  It just crossed my choo-choo train of thoughts these very words from a song of a 90’s band The Corrs that goes along the lines of: “I will run away, I will run away with you.”

Oh, how sweet that would be.  But it is a little too idealistic, is it not?  Because love, no matter how gentle or how vulgar – love sells.

I told a playwright friend I will turn up with a post on the very same subject, with the very same title, If You Look At Love Hard Enough by Mat Atahari.  And in the state of meshiness (pardon the pun) my mind is caught up in, I shall write this little prose, regardless of what you presume. Hopefully it will give a little insight into my understanding of the subject matter at hand.

(Photograph courtesy of Alicia Ai Leng)

Is love for real, or is it void? (Photograph courtesy                          of Alicia Ai Leng)

If you looked at love hard enough

You will find a way

Even when the going gets tough

If you looked at love hard enough

You will cherish each day

Oh, and never once let out a gruff

If you looked at love hard enough

You will do what you can

Forgive me, and look pass

If you looked at love hard enough

All the pain sheds away

Grace befalls everyday

Leave the trivial stuff 

Oh, yeah.  Period.

Dear Paul Walker

Dear Paul Walker, You have been an amazing team player and friend to all of us (Fast and Furious 7 actors).  It has been quite unfortunate to learn of your premature demise.  In memory of you, we would like to tribute this piece of art to you, where you shall return to your family who deeply love you.  Your children, who need you still.  There is none other like you, no better player in the game.  RIP, Paul Walker.                                                                                                                                Love,                                                                                                                               Red Scarlet

Author’s commentary: I had decided to creep up the long, dark hallways of the cinema next door to catch a good view of this movie which featured the last scenes of the late Paul Walker.  The urge to gain a further, deeper understanding of the film itself and the Sarawakian-born director James Wan piqued my interest.  I was not disappointed. It had a happy ending.  One that spoke of an eternal rest to such a handsome young actor (tell me, is he not?).  I still remember the last scene in the 2-hour plus long movie in which the computer-generated image of Walker was carrying his on-set child next to his on-set wife Mia by the beach, where everywhere was so serene, so beautiful, a perfectly sculpted mise en scene.  Vin Diesel was about to leave, when one of his comrades asked him: “Don’t you have to say goodbye?” To which Vin Diesel replied: “I don’t have to.”  And drove off in his electric blue automobile. Then, when he halted at the traffic lights in the mountains, Walker unexpectedly pulled up next to him in his white car (a peacefully grand mise en scene for this very last action) and said to Diesel through his open window: “I thought you don’t have to say goodbye?” The two men exchanged smiles, and with one last look, they drove separate ways in the mountains.  This signifies how the they were going their own ways, apart from each other. Death knocks on one’s door when one least expects.  How are we to know who goes next? You see, this is what I call art.  Film art.  The mise en scene and set-ups and geographical locations are very meaningful to the film, and so is the choice of words as it has to go in accordance to the theme.  And the theme of this film?  Togetherness, no matter what happens.  Family. I should not leave out the director, somehow.  Kudos to James Wan.  He has been able to put together an incredibly beautiful piece of art with such delicacy. P.S.:  I am extremely touched, but no, no crying, though.

One Night Stand

"I think, therefore I am." (Photo credits to Faidzal Annuar)

“I think, therefore I am.” (Photo credits to Faidzal Annuar)


It is downright crazy.  I know right?  There is the feeling of high as you keep doing what you want.  You keep riding like there is no tomorrow – for a long time, all responsibilities seem to have vanished in the air.  But have they?  You do not stop giving what you want.  You do not stop giving yourself the immense pleasure you cannot get from doing other things.  Until, finally, you climax.

I have been actively writing for a month now, with eight posts published within the period.  Not only that, I have been generating articles of various sorts for my research and a short film trailer.  Phew.

The real thing will be in a few months’ time, when I will be doing five subjects (again!), all at the senior level, and juggling with my other jobs.  But I can make it!  I know I can.

Yeah, in my busy schedule I have been treating my tests and exams like one-night stands.  So what – I love what I am doing.  However, my books are calling me.  Exams are sort of around the corner.

Yet, in my life path I have realized that I cannot stop what I love doing.  It is really the next step in my self-actualization process.  There are people and matters that have to be sacrificed every now and then, such as the sleep everyone needs.  Which is basically what is “sacrificed” when you really are having a one-night stand.

The drama of the day has had to begin; masks have to be donned less I am recognized.  For I am a person who would rather express myself through ways I feel is appropriate for my own etiquette.  I am still not yet at the epitome of my career, but I am driving, probably not fast enough, but hard enough I hope.

All these hush and rush has resulted in a meshy brain, because out of the meshiness comes innovation.  Out of the meshiness comes creativity as the mind strives for perfection.  It has been several sleepless nights too as I try to get everything done on time, in place, and accurately.  It is just me.

Well, I am saying this because I have been treating my tests as if they were one-night stands.  I am just cram in the morning and then I sit for the test later in the day.  Sometimes I slept at 1AM and woke up at 4AM to revise.  Then I sit for the test at noon; and I finish off with a good end.

I am still readjusting myself to this new lifestyle, trying to put everything in place, and trying hard to make ends meet.  I see myself as someone who steps into the filming industry for a while before continuing with my masters in psychodrama.  That will give my writing a good ending.

It’s a crazy life so far.  There is nothing better than getting what you want.

Of course, that has to be put on hold for a while.  With my finals coming in a few weeks’ time, I have to not to say switch, but start revising already.  I am not going to miss out on these ones!

I shall still be writing though. And dancing.  Eating.  It is all a part of the integration of life.

 Red Scarlet