“I think, therefore I am.” (Photo credits to Faidzal Annuar)
It is downright crazy. I know right? There is the feeling of high as you keep doing what you want. You keep riding like there is no tomorrow – for a long time, all responsibilities seem to have vanished in the air. But have they? You do not stop giving what you want. You do not stop giving yourself the immense pleasure you cannot get from doing other things. Until, finally, you climax.
I have been actively writing for a month now, with eight posts published within the period. Not only that, I have been generating articles of various sorts for my research and a short film trailer. Phew.
The real thing will be in a few months’ time, when I will be doing five subjects (again!), all at the senior level, and juggling with my other jobs. But I can make it! I know I can.
Yeah, in my busy schedule I have been treating my tests and exams like one-night stands. So what – I love what I am doing. However, my books are calling me. Exams are sort of around the corner.
Yet, in my life path I have realized that I cannot stop what I love doing. It is really the next step in my self-actualization process. There are people and matters that have to be sacrificed every now and then, such as the sleep everyone needs. Which is basically what is “sacrificed” when you really are having a one-night stand.
The drama of the day has had to begin; masks have to be donned less I am recognized. For I am a person who would rather express myself through ways I feel is appropriate for my own etiquette. I am still not yet at the epitome of my career, but I am driving, probably not fast enough, but hard enough I hope.
All these hush and rush has resulted in a meshy brain, because out of the meshiness comes innovation. Out of the meshiness comes creativity as the mind strives for perfection. It has been several sleepless nights too as I try to get everything done on time, in place, and accurately. It is just me.
Well, I am saying this because I have been treating my tests as if they were one-night stands. I am just cram in the morning and then I sit for the test later in the day. Sometimes I slept at 1AM and woke up at 4AM to revise. Then I sit for the test at noon; and I finish off with a good end.
I am still readjusting myself to this new lifestyle, trying to put everything in place, and trying hard to make ends meet. I see myself as someone who steps into the filming industry for a while before continuing with my masters in psychodrama. That will give my writing a good ending.
It’s a crazy life so far. There is nothing better than getting what you want.
Of course, that has to be put on hold for a while. With my finals coming in a few weeks’ time, I have to not to say switch, but start revising already. I am not going to miss out on these ones!
I shall still be writing though. And dancing. Eating. It is all a part of the integration of life.