The Write Project

My mind has been loitering on a wandering trail for the past few months.  Not that my lips cried, but my brains could not keep their silence.  It was as if life edged by a rocking boat in turbulent waters, and all the soul could possibly do was sit and watch.  And think, too.  Perhaps.  If it were possible.

In the joyous reunion of the family, I felt my essence sui generis slipping away, bit by bit, into the stark madness of reality. More and more I was drowning away in a plenitude of data, most nothing but cold hard facts, and facts, and facts.  And then came the time where I was asked to ask myself: What am I doing?  Where am I heading?  Is this what I want to do? For the last question, of course, the answer is undoubtedly clear – yes, of course!  But how?  What?  Why? Where would I lose myself to?

It is agonizing, considering the workload I am facing, and yet it is simply a part of the process. Which path was I walking?  Whose path?  What did I want, inherently, in the end?  I was always in the have-to, but no-time situation.  But I shall not deny that worklife has absorbed a great deal of me, so now I am hard at play retrieving it.  It was as if I been prancing about in a drunken stupor, but nevertheless the questions kept on pressing endlessly.

Stop, stop, stop.  Please!  This echoed through my head.  It had to, correct?  It is probably my identity crisis as a psychopathic writer, where I let go of all responsibilities and allow myself to explore.  And explore I have – I am still at it, to be frank.  Anyway, it is safe to say that I have been hanging around the wrong loop, and therefore it necessitates me to make a reverse turn to continue the walk.  Or the run, rather.  I have been using much time.  This year, however, my writing has brought me to another level, and I am required to prepare write-ups for website content.  It is not exactly what I want – for I really, really do want to grab hold of a drama director by the wrist, and demand that he allow me to screen-write.  JS (which stand for just saying).  But my emotions speak for themselves.  I have been waiting much too long.

Slowly, though. All the exploring and traveling has made me immensely sleepy.  It is necessary that I listen closely to my heartbeat – no distractions!  Ihrer haben ein solch guten tag.  Und ich liebe dich.

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Fly With Me

I may not be exactly so much – no, not in adequate proportions – but yet I consider myself an extremely artistic person.  I like to imagine my little notebook as my guitar where I play my notes on.

Call me crazy… maybe.

There is nothing wrong in that.

What goes on in my mind you do not know.  And say what you wish, I do not mind even.  I do not even know what matters are playing in your head.  Really.  Our perceptions are not all similar.

Uh-huh.

I assume I must have gotten so drunk over my music, for it depicts the buried treasures of feelings beneath the sweetly adorned grave, however deep down they may be from the surface, washed off in the rain and thunderstorm and covered by the dampened, soiled earth.  Events that go by do not oftentimes (I do not know why, but I dread this word – oh, yeah, that is out of topic so I shall bring it up later) make sense.

Nonetheless, there exists a factor in the human nature… a component known as resilience, that makes us stand so far apart from one another.  The factor that puts us up on our two feet constantly, always chasing our dreams, big and little.  That sets us running forward, never to be pulled back, climbing ountains so high and diving into seas so deep.  That seemingly brings us so close to our pinnacle  by only an inch, only to have it snatched away by another Dream-Chaser.  Which we drown ourselves into, only to watch it melt slowly away in all the heated commotion.

But we just go on our journey in a more lighted path.  We can’t stop.  Because we won’t stop.

I am like… yes!

Come.  Fly with me.

Confidence is one big part that keeps us going.

Confidence is one big part of us that keeps us going.  (The Author when her hair was still untreated.  Photo credits to photographer Ekamil Razali.)

Red Scarlet

As Time Flies

Welcome 2015.

As the minute hand turns, seconds become minutes, minutes into hours, and hours change to days, days into weeks, months, years, and eventually decades – O, how much longer before the story ends?

Emotions lay covered, as if shaken by water; yet in the quick moment of silence, I retract back whatever plans I have constructed in the past, however recent they are.  A thorough view out the window, and I decided that certain tactical plans must be trashed to the bin, for the lack of time.  It is my final year after all.

Truth is, there is only so much time in one’s life to care about every single thing.  It is to my conscience that I admit that much time has been unfortunately been put to waste due to lack of deep comprehension of particular matters.

It is nearing, although not absolutely so, the end of one adventurous chapter.  It is so close to, “And here comes the tricky part.”  What I speculate… adventurous hikes, deep plunges, and high dives into the unknown.  Aye, there is a plethora of excitement I sense in the air.  So much of it as I plan on a goal-directed year.  I do not and cannot permit anything else to perturb my aura, my plans laying themselves toward a particular road.

On with 2015, moving towards drama and music and therapy of the psyche… what am I waiting for?  It is going to be a year of growth, a time of beautiful memories, and yes, merriment. It is also going to be a year of love, forgiveness, patience, assertiveness, perseverance,and ultimately, success.

I choose to be… determined.  Bald du sehen!

Red Scarlet

Dancing Stress Relief

Dancing is portrayed as a form of self-expression.  how you express yourself is your own art, your own piece, not through words, but through movement.  Do you know that sometimes, the pressure cooker heats up too much it just feels like exploding? (Photo credits to Faidzal Annuar)

Dancing is portrayed as a form of self-expression.  How you express yourself is your own art, your own piece, not through words, but through movement.  Do you know that sometimes, the pressure cooker heats up too much it just feels like exploding? (Photo credits to Faidzal Annuar)

There is something about dance and good music that disconnects the clamps in the ligaments and gives some form of liberty to the inner core.  It constructs a feeling of directed waywardness and pronounces every movement in such a way that is beautiful and attractive to the eye.  It does wonders to the mind – did I ever tell you what positive psychology is all about? Well, I will, soon.  I sort of realized it a few years back when I watched a little practice.

Once I got home, I put what I studied in written ink.  It really did not feel that bad.  And here is what I got.

As the sun rose and its rays rippled through the dewy air, a group of women in their late 50s and 60s danced in tune to the music of the 80’s. They followed suit as their trainer shouted, “Left, right! Now, right, left!” and moved their feet as demonstrated.

I watched as they slid around a small portion of the basketball court where they practiced. It was the great way to start off the day.

Line-dancing is a beautiful form of relaxing and exercise. But why line-dance? Actually, it does not really matter what kind of dance you like to do. Relaxing means not having to follow a rigid structure of rules. So this means any dance style will do.

Relaxing means allowing your cramped-up mind to unlock so that your thoughts are able to wander freely. It is just like a pressure-cooker half-filled with soup that has been boiling for the last 15 hours. You forgot to add in water, and when you finally realize, the heat inside the pot has increased, so you switch it off, open the cover, and release all the steam. Your mind is like that. You need to open it up and let all the pressure out, and dancing is one nice way to do that.

Some think that dancing is for crazy freaks. However, that’s not true. They do not just belong to the club or ballroom. Whenever you feel like it, you can simply turn on the stereo really loud and waggle to your heart’s content. Of course, you need to check if your neighborhood conforms to booming music in the middle of the night. You need to see if your neighborhood is “open-minded’, too. Once a week should not hurt, though.

However, if you are uncomfortable with the idea of dancing alone, then you might as well hit the clubs. It’s fun, if you know the moves. Just make sure you don’t end up in trouble.

I like hip-hop dancing to rap music. It’s much better than making pointless (or obscene) gestures in the air. I prefer to do it alone, so some nights when I am in the house by myself, I would shut the windows, turn on my hi-fi, and dance away my worries.

I don’t think I’ll stop here, anyway. One day I may have my own dance club, and me and my team members would be getting ourselves involved in international dance competitions like the International Dance Challenge in New Jersey, USA.

But I’ll see about it. There’s no need to rush everything like the world will end this year 2012. It all probably depends on the level of pressure I have in my head that’ll be waiting to burst out-and I hope that doesn’t happen.

Whatever it is, dancing can help release the build-up of tension in your mind and body. I have been there, done that, and I know it works.

So if you want, turn off the lights and start wiggling around to the music. Chris Brown’s
“You Look Better With The Lights Off,” perhaps?

 

– The author dances whenever she can as her own way of relaxing, whether in her room, in the parks, or at the roadsides.  She hopes to be able to find a connection between the art of dance and drama to produce therapeutical effects.

Red Scarlet