Dirty Little Secret

Shush. Don’t tell your mother.  Kiss one another.  Die for each other.

In the midst of the gooey mass of grey matter in the prefrontal lobe stands a huge army of Spartan soldiers with their spears sticking upwards in the air.  They are prepared to fight, prepared to conquer malaise, to combat for Truth.  For the mind is a wondrously dangerous place, and white lies are in constant battle with black lies and dirty little secrets.  With a tweak of a passage of signals, the entire perception alters somewhat drastically.  It gives birth to a thought, an idea, and though in its embryonic form, it still has the capability of enveloping the entire physique, covering the subtle pores of the skin with its vulnerable coat like myelineated sheaths of axons.  It hydrates the thirsty soul; it instigates a certain craving for – a little cocaine, maybe?  Fervently spreading throughout the entire breathing creature, it begins to speak aloud in the creature’s own voice.  But how weak the mind is!  Yet it is capable of intelligent choice.

Secret Garden. (Photo courtesy of Twitter)

Secret Garden. (Photo courtesy of Twitter)

A long time has past since I last published my work on WordPress.

It is a superficially busy time for me because, after this semester, I have only two more to go.  Then I shall finally graduate.  It is critically important that I do well during these last few months because I plan to sit for masters. Not only that I am working towards developing my own organizational objectives with a music business unit.  It is not easy to do this single-handedly, but I am fortunate to be able to work with other entrepreneurs as well.

It truly is one last stage for me to get by.  I admit it is tough because I am now handling everything by myself, from tuition fees to organization structure to this little powerful drug – writing – that I do every now and then.  I am consummated by exams and university projects and meeting new people.  Every now and then I am hurled into Dreamland, where I am trapped in an extremely tall tower waiting for my knight in his white horse to come around and save me of course.  At the very same moment, Time is graciously ticking away.

It definitely is fun to form mutual friendships with people and organizations, especially those who would be able to help out in the event that it is necessary.  As part of entrepreneurship all that stress that comes along with it – hopefully it ends successfully.  I want it to be a success of course!  It meaning everything.  Which encompasses education, my job, my friends, my family, my life – everything, god damn it.  All these are the work of a lifetime.  These are all my Paradise.

Don’t tell anyone.  It’s my dirty little secret.  Can you keep it?  Because I am fine with it.

Red Scarlet

P.S.:  I am quite happy being a woman.

Best of Both Worlds

Should have, could have, might have – but did not.  I must smack myself in the face.  The daydreaming I have plunged myself into with all the diving through the deepest depths… it is still going to continue.

This is the 21st century we are now experiencing at the forefront of conciousness.  Yet I choose to submerge a bit further through the id and out the superego as I search through the shelves of my memory for those materials I need to put to good use, specifically.

At times it takes me to a particular point in my life when I do know absolutely what I want to write about, but the hand churns up something else.  Which is quite astounding, because till now, I had expected the hand to obey the mind.

But now I shall shut my hand with orders of persecution and open my mind instead.  My love for drama shall be a little more pronounced in all my studies and research.  It is a personal attempt to bridge a conjuction between the subject of the Sciences and the Arts.  That combined with the philosophies if the ancient Grecian fathers and the rich culture of the past… ooh la la; I could have almost orgasm.

     But of course I do not.

Have you tried mixing vodka with a little berry juice?  Or, perhaps, whisky?  It is approximately similar, only that you put your drunken thoughts to print for all to read and ponder and laugh about.

The Masai warriors are stomping their sharply-carved spears onto the ground, their loincloths waving slightly in the hot, airy climate.  Let the leprachauns dance along the rhythm with pretty little green shemrocks under their cute little feet.

Gah!  Add a bit of rum; switch on the music.  Come dance with me.

Red Scarlet


Maybe I am a little insane.  This I confess.

I just got back to my burrow after a good jog at the nearby track.  It was slightly longer than usual; and here I am referring to the distance covered.

I increased the number of sit-ups and push-ups too.  As I headed out to the nearest 24-hour store, I started feeling a recurring pain in the cardiac muscle.  Oh no, I thought.  Not again.

The first incident came about more than a year ago.  It lasted for just a few minutes – but it hurt enough to claim storage in my mind’s capacity.  Enough to teach me plenty of values.  Of life.  Of the self.  Of the people around me – especially those I care for.

I drink at times, but I have never placed a lit cigarette in my mouth.  I am quite proud of the fact that, each time I hit the community pool, I complete ten full laps back and forth.  Non-stop.

What I have absorbed in my mind has taught me so much about life’s worth.  I have, as of date, already discovered the cause, and in the process revealed the conclusions altogether.  It is not that I wish to vye for fame.  I have simply accepted the dry facts.  Now I just intend to… prolong my lifespan a little bit, perhaps?

My quickest, and also easiest solution, of course, is laughing.  Laughter, after all, is the simplest and most unconventional method of healing.  Among all other forms available, laughing is such a natural remedy, especially for the pain in the heart.  I laugh at anything and everything, so much so friends and colleagues gave me a cute pet-name (that I shall not reveal!).

Yet I see this as a positive activity.  An array of happiness oxytoxins jetspray themselves into the bloodstream from the glands, every time that occurs.  They squirt out and rush off to the cheeks, giving them a soft, rosy glow.  It catalyzes the heartbeat by just a wink, and here even a wink helps.

There is, I presume, of no use, because the Chambers of Life beat so diligently… but no one hears.  And so, I churn out my music on the paper.

Laugh for all of heaven's sake. (Photo Credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Laugh for all of heaven’s sake. (Photo Credits to                            Alicia Ai Leng)

Spill it out.  It is now very close to 3AM, and I have a class at 8.30AM later.  Let’s just laugh.

Red Scarlet

A White Piece of Paper

Do not stop the music. The pen must write; the ink must flow. Tales of love, mystery, glory, patience, and zealous wrath must be expressed. And the dance floor – it must permit the waltz of the pen along the lines.

Where mysterious tinges of the heart are exhausted. Beats of the little life-filled casing land on notes high and low. As I groove along the walkway, the highway, over the curb, so my pen draws out patterns of messages onto a blank piece of paper.

Sketches of a more beautiful future etch themselves into the pores of dried pulp. Silent whispers of the great beautiful mind go with every little step on which the pen imprints itself. Dreams are left to unfold and expose themselves, albeit naked, for all to scrutinize. Pour out the pain, the dirty little secrets of the side no one ever knew of!!!

Red Scarlet

Dancing Stress Relief

Dancing is portrayed as a form of self-expression.  how you express yourself is your own art, your own piece, not through words, but through movement.  Do you know that sometimes, the pressure cooker heats up too much it just feels like exploding? (Photo credits to Faidzal Annuar)

Dancing is portrayed as a form of self-expression.  How you express yourself is your own art, your own piece, not through words, but through movement.  Do you know that sometimes, the pressure cooker heats up too much it just feels like exploding? (Photo credits to Faidzal Annuar)

There is something about dance and good music that disconnects the clamps in the ligaments and gives some form of liberty to the inner core.  It constructs a feeling of directed waywardness and pronounces every movement in such a way that is beautiful and attractive to the eye.  It does wonders to the mind – did I ever tell you what positive psychology is all about? Well, I will, soon.  I sort of realized it a few years back when I watched a little practice.

Once I got home, I put what I studied in written ink.  It really did not feel that bad.  And here is what I got.

As the sun rose and its rays rippled through the dewy air, a group of women in their late 50s and 60s danced in tune to the music of the 80’s. They followed suit as their trainer shouted, “Left, right! Now, right, left!” and moved their feet as demonstrated.

I watched as they slid around a small portion of the basketball court where they practiced. It was the great way to start off the day.

Line-dancing is a beautiful form of relaxing and exercise. But why line-dance? Actually, it does not really matter what kind of dance you like to do. Relaxing means not having to follow a rigid structure of rules. So this means any dance style will do.

Relaxing means allowing your cramped-up mind to unlock so that your thoughts are able to wander freely. It is just like a pressure-cooker half-filled with soup that has been boiling for the last 15 hours. You forgot to add in water, and when you finally realize, the heat inside the pot has increased, so you switch it off, open the cover, and release all the steam. Your mind is like that. You need to open it up and let all the pressure out, and dancing is one nice way to do that.

Some think that dancing is for crazy freaks. However, that’s not true. They do not just belong to the club or ballroom. Whenever you feel like it, you can simply turn on the stereo really loud and waggle to your heart’s content. Of course, you need to check if your neighborhood conforms to booming music in the middle of the night. You need to see if your neighborhood is “open-minded’, too. Once a week should not hurt, though.

However, if you are uncomfortable with the idea of dancing alone, then you might as well hit the clubs. It’s fun, if you know the moves. Just make sure you don’t end up in trouble.

I like hip-hop dancing to rap music. It’s much better than making pointless (or obscene) gestures in the air. I prefer to do it alone, so some nights when I am in the house by myself, I would shut the windows, turn on my hi-fi, and dance away my worries.

I don’t think I’ll stop here, anyway. One day I may have my own dance club, and me and my team members would be getting ourselves involved in international dance competitions like the International Dance Challenge in New Jersey, USA.

But I’ll see about it. There’s no need to rush everything like the world will end this year 2012. It all probably depends on the level of pressure I have in my head that’ll be waiting to burst out-and I hope that doesn’t happen.

Whatever it is, dancing can help release the build-up of tension in your mind and body. I have been there, done that, and I know it works.

So if you want, turn off the lights and start wiggling around to the music. Chris Brown’s
“You Look Better With The Lights Off,” perhaps?


– The author dances whenever she can as her own way of relaxing, whether in her room, in the parks, or at the roadsides.  She hopes to be able to find a connection between the art of dance and drama to produce therapeutical effects.

Red Scarlet

Swimming Fish Tales

A dolphin is a type of mammal-fish, isn't it?                              -2-year-old infant

A dolphin is a type of mammal-fish, isn’t it?
-2-year-old infant


I made a meal out of an entire zebra-striped swimsuit set today.  Including a pair of black goggles.

I cannot wait to dive in a pool of lush, velvety water.  I do not care whether I end up in the Pacific Ocean, or the Red Sea, or the Black Sea – all I want is to just dive in!  I need to rebuild my abs.

I walked straight into KLCC till I was lost amongst the crowd.  As soon as I noticed Isetan I spotted Parkson beside it.  So I walked ahead until I ended up lost in the crowds again.  I had walked all the way towards the other exit.  Duh.  After asking for directions, I managed to go to where I wanted.

Whilst trying on some swimsuits, the songs blasted out of the speakers!  They were cool songs; one of them even went:

“I came to dance, dance, dance, dance

I hit the floor ’cause it’s my plans, plans, plans, plans….”

by Taio Cruz.

When Martin Seligman was campaigning about his 21st century theory about positive psychology, he asserted that exercise should be a part of everyone’s Happiness Regime.  Exercise, he claimed, improves the cardiac system, increasing oxygen levels especially in neural cells.  Happy cells that have had their fill function more effectively than oxygen-deprived cells.

That is the reason why I swim.  That is the reason why I dance.  And, hey, I am thinking of a crazy project.  It will not drive you bonkers; rather it will drive you with the positive force you require to keep you up and bustling throughout the day.

Yeah, it was the fitting room.  I did not let that bother me.  I just danced for half an hour.  Danced semi-naked.  Because, somehow, everything is going to be all right.

PS:  It was such a hectic day today.  Right after the class presentation, I rushed off to see a lecturer about another assignment before running off to get to work even before the class was over.  Now it is way past midnight, and I shall be typing my script out for the short film.

Red Scarlet