Birthday

November rains are back.  Everyday it is raining, raining, raining.  The skies are crying, weeping tears of bittersweet joy.  Massive clouds of whitish-grey matter cover the sky, creating a reflecting gloom that shrouds the earth.  Some twists must be taken, must they not?

Even the air is set with a dewy mist.  Winds blow, though not too hard.  The ground is moist; in some places it is damp and soggy from all the wetness.

The wisps of mists fill the air as it evaporates, awakening the senses – perhaps with a start – and the soul, with a renewed vigor, skips along the sidewalks in merriment.  For through pain, through jagged maps, through persistence it came through it all, and is still coming, on its way.  One day soon it shall be no less obvious, because its dear heart would thump with powerful beats along to the tune of the music whispering in its ears.

An afternoon in downtown KL. (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

An dizzling afternoon in downtown KL. (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

November is a beautiful month, the time of the year when Mars and Pluto cross paths and stars collide.  It is the time of the year of every other year when little baby scorpions emerge from their eggs and take their very first crawl.

Oh!  The clock is ticking, and I am running out of time.  I must put on my birthday suit.  For in a few minutes I am turning 24.  How old can I be?

I am in oh-so-deeeeep love with the month of November.

Red Scarlet

PS:  This post was written a few days prior to the author’s 24th birthday.

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Dirty Little Secret

Shush. Don’t tell your mother.  Kiss one another.  Die for each other.

In the midst of the gooey mass of grey matter in the prefrontal lobe stands a huge army of Spartan soldiers with their spears sticking upwards in the air.  They are prepared to fight, prepared to conquer malaise, to combat for Truth.  For the mind is a wondrously dangerous place, and white lies are in constant battle with black lies and dirty little secrets.  With a tweak of a passage of signals, the entire perception alters somewhat drastically.  It gives birth to a thought, an idea, and though in its embryonic form, it still has the capability of enveloping the entire physique, covering the subtle pores of the skin with its vulnerable coat like myelineated sheaths of axons.  It hydrates the thirsty soul; it instigates a certain craving for – a little cocaine, maybe?  Fervently spreading throughout the entire breathing creature, it begins to speak aloud in the creature’s own voice.  But how weak the mind is!  Yet it is capable of intelligent choice.

Secret Garden. (Photo courtesy of Twitter)

Secret Garden. (Photo courtesy of Twitter)

A long time has past since I last published my work on WordPress.

It is a superficially busy time for me because, after this semester, I have only two more to go.  Then I shall finally graduate.  It is critically important that I do well during these last few months because I plan to sit for masters. Not only that I am working towards developing my own organizational objectives with a music business unit.  It is not easy to do this single-handedly, but I am fortunate to be able to work with other entrepreneurs as well.

It truly is one last stage for me to get by.  I admit it is tough because I am now handling everything by myself, from tuition fees to organization structure to this little powerful drug – writing – that I do every now and then.  I am consummated by exams and university projects and meeting new people.  Every now and then I am hurled into Dreamland, where I am trapped in an extremely tall tower waiting for my knight in his white horse to come around and save me of course.  At the very same moment, Time is graciously ticking away.

It definitely is fun to form mutual friendships with people and organizations, especially those who would be able to help out in the event that it is necessary.  As part of entrepreneurship all that stress that comes along with it – hopefully it ends successfully.  I want it to be a success of course!  It meaning everything.  Which encompasses education, my job, my friends, my family, my life – everything, god damn it.  All these are the work of a lifetime.  These are all my Paradise.

Don’t tell anyone.  It’s my dirty little secret.  Can you keep it?  Because I am fine with it.

Red Scarlet

P.S.:  I am quite happy being a woman.

Best of Both Worlds

Should have, could have, might have – but did not.  I must smack myself in the face.  The daydreaming I have plunged myself into with all the diving through the deepest depths… it is still going to continue.

This is the 21st century we are now experiencing at the forefront of conciousness.  Yet I choose to submerge a bit further through the id and out the superego as I search through the shelves of my memory for those materials I need to put to good use, specifically.

At times it takes me to a particular point in my life when I do know absolutely what I want to write about, but the hand churns up something else.  Which is quite astounding, because till now, I had expected the hand to obey the mind.

But now I shall shut my hand with orders of persecution and open my mind instead.  My love for drama shall be a little more pronounced in all my studies and research.  It is a personal attempt to bridge a conjuction between the subject of the Sciences and the Arts.  That combined with the philosophies if the ancient Grecian fathers and the rich culture of the past… ooh la la; I could have almost orgasm.

     But of course I do not.

Have you tried mixing vodka with a little berry juice?  Or, perhaps, whisky?  It is approximately similar, only that you put your drunken thoughts to print for all to read and ponder and laugh about.

The Masai warriors are stomping their sharply-carved spears onto the ground, their loincloths waving slightly in the hot, airy climate.  Let the leprachauns dance along the rhythm with pretty little green shemrocks under their cute little feet.

Gah!  Add a bit of rum; switch on the music.  Come dance with me.

Red Scarlet

Laughter

Maybe I am a little insane.  This I confess.

I just got back to my burrow after a good jog at the nearby track.  It was slightly longer than usual; and here I am referring to the distance covered.

I increased the number of sit-ups and push-ups too.  As I headed out to the nearest 24-hour store, I started feeling a recurring pain in the cardiac muscle.  Oh no, I thought.  Not again.

The first incident came about more than a year ago.  It lasted for just a few minutes – but it hurt enough to claim storage in my mind’s capacity.  Enough to teach me plenty of values.  Of life.  Of the self.  Of the people around me – especially those I care for.

I drink at times, but I have never placed a lit cigarette in my mouth.  I am quite proud of the fact that, each time I hit the community pool, I complete ten full laps back and forth.  Non-stop.

What I have absorbed in my mind has taught me so much about life’s worth.  I have, as of date, already discovered the cause, and in the process revealed the conclusions altogether.  It is not that I wish to vye for fame.  I have simply accepted the dry facts.  Now I just intend to… prolong my lifespan a little bit, perhaps?

My quickest, and also easiest solution, of course, is laughing.  Laughter, after all, is the simplest and most unconventional method of healing.  Among all other forms available, laughing is such a natural remedy, especially for the pain in the heart.  I laugh at anything and everything, so much so friends and colleagues gave me a cute pet-name (that I shall not reveal!).

Yet I see this as a positive activity.  An array of happiness oxytoxins jetspray themselves into the bloodstream from the glands, every time that occurs.  They squirt out and rush off to the cheeks, giving them a soft, rosy glow.  It catalyzes the heartbeat by just a wink, and here even a wink helps.

There is, I presume, of no use, because the Chambers of Life beat so diligently… but no one hears.  And so, I churn out my music on the paper.

Laugh for all of heaven's sake. (Photo Credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Laugh for all of heaven’s sake. (Photo Credits to                            Alicia Ai Leng)

Spill it out.  It is now very close to 3AM, and I have a class at 8.30AM later.  Let’s just laugh.

Red Scarlet

Fly With Me

I may not be exactly so much – no, not in adequate proportions – but yet I consider myself an extremely artistic person.  I like to imagine my little notebook as my guitar where I play my notes on.

Call me crazy… maybe.

There is nothing wrong in that.

What goes on in my mind you do not know.  And say what you wish, I do not mind even.  I do not even know what matters are playing in your head.  Really.  Our perceptions are not all similar.

Uh-huh.

I assume I must have gotten so drunk over my music, for it depicts the buried treasures of feelings beneath the sweetly adorned grave, however deep down they may be from the surface, washed off in the rain and thunderstorm and covered by the dampened, soiled earth.  Events that go by do not oftentimes (I do not know why, but I dread this word – oh, yeah, that is out of topic so I shall bring it up later) make sense.

Nonetheless, there exists a factor in the human nature… a component known as resilience, that makes us stand so far apart from one another.  The factor that puts us up on our two feet constantly, always chasing our dreams, big and little.  That sets us running forward, never to be pulled back, climbing ountains so high and diving into seas so deep.  That seemingly brings us so close to our pinnacle  by only an inch, only to have it snatched away by another Dream-Chaser.  Which we drown ourselves into, only to watch it melt slowly away in all the heated commotion.

But we just go on our journey in a more lighted path.  We can’t stop.  Because we won’t stop.

I am like… yes!

Come.  Fly with me.

Confidence is one big part that keeps us going.

Confidence is one big part of us that keeps us going.  (The Author when her hair was still untreated.  Photo credits to photographer Ekamil Razali.)

Red Scarlet

What Drives You…

Caltex?

The engine of your life (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

The engine of your life (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

No, not quite.  It is a source of energy that fuels our motives; but it certainly is not black and it is not slippery, and it is not pumped out from the rich earth below.

Do you realize how everyday I wake up to this realization, deciding that this is it, the very thing that keeps me going – because my life is not going to last, but my deeds will.

So will the rest of the people I know: Friends and family and whoever else I find dear to my heart.  They are worthy of the smile you give them everyday, of the hearty laughter you share with them, and of the care you shower them with.

To accept the fact, however dreary it seems, with an ever tolerant spirit, brings the joy in me.  Yes, life is not perfect; it is not a complete bed of roses.  But knowing that it does not last settles me with the reason to treasure every moment of it.

Some past research which really got extremely serious in the end, into the matter itself, yielded in some pretty horrific results.  It provided a lot of insight into Death and all that is associated with it.  And that, gathered with all the hard facts and statistics revolving around that data, as well as the play of life events that take place before my very eyes, is more than enough to make me who I am presently.

The knowledge, or rather the awareness, that you and I will one day vanish into the ethereal, is what keeps us going.  Just that sometimes we are too busy to notice.

Of course I think differently.

Red Scarlet

One Purpose

One of the “philosophies” I cannot live without especially at this point of time is the notion that everything that occurs somehow… occurs.  It is the point of my existence that I have somehow accepted and soaked every single matter and every presence of every living being in front of my eyes.

They are there for you to cherish.  The self can make it happen.  Every breath is a wonderful gift to thank for.  Sure, they do come with all their unbecomings, big and small.  No human is a demi-god, after all.

Human existence is on the better purpose of helping, for the better of mankind.  There will be suffering, aye, and pain – and yet the least one can do.  The heart yearns for care and to be cared for. The soul longs to discover meaning in all the light and darkness it encounters everyday.

The individual transits from one stage to another.  Time has its own way.  Or time, for that matter.  It definitely calls on a timely basis as it seeks Perfection, the way of healing.

Time, time, time.  Stay positive, let life happen.

Red Scarlet

Happy Tree Friends

Happy Tree Friends.  (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Happy Tree Friends. (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

A good tree is a happy tree, flourishing with well-trimmed leaves. It grows well, properly nurtured by Mother Nature.  The water from the damp soil seeps into its roots, flowing upwards inch by inch to every end.

Even I myself am wondering why I am using a tree as a metaphor.  You see, that is a good tree.  The branches spread out through the air in several directions with such grace.  A tree well taken care of has a good ending.  It ends well.

A good tree is therefore a happy tree.  Why?  Its needs are met. Its foundations are firmly rooted in the earth, so to speak.  All it has to do now is to spread itself around – around anything it can find.

What makes a happy tree happy, besides of good roots?  How does it stay happy?  Several components to which I could testify, no doubt.

1.  Smiling.

This does wonders to the health.  As I write this, fireworks are shooting in the pitch black sky, lighting it up a little in the process. – Diwali is tomorrow, anyhow.

It does not have to only be the self doing the smiling all the time.  It also involves making others smile, or laugh, perhaps, even.  Whichever is appropriate.

2.  Keeping things simple.

Do not think too much.  Avoid complicating matters.  Life is just as hard as it can get for the self.

3.  Living in the moment.

The mind is a wonderful gift; do not pressure it so, because there simply is no point.  Plans definitely have to be constructed, and some of them will tremble more or less.  Avoid digging the past up and let the future unfold as it wishes.

4.  Thinking happy thoughts.

Focus on thinking happy.  Run after happiness like there is no tomorrow.  Build a conceptual happiness framework in your mind: happy you, happy children, happy parents, happy clients, happy boss, happy everything.  What makes you happy?  What keeps you happy?  Do it.

5.  Surrounding yourself with happy tree friends.

They set you in the mood and share beautiful moments together.  And the happier you are, the more happy tree friends you attract.  It is all in the Law of Attraction.

6.  Acting happy.

Even if you are not happy, at least pretend.  I am serious.  There is no harm making it like you are happy although you are not.  This channels positive energy into the self, and, on a more social level, someone might be able to see your true emotions and talk you out of your suppression.  So act happy.

7.  Saying thanks with that gratitude.

Demonstrating true appreciation with whole-heartedness is totally heart-warming to even the coldest soul.  Appreciate whatever little you have, however much you may possess.  Things are much simpler this way.  Remember there are those not as fortunate as you are.

7.  Discovering the self.

Be a little bit selfish.  Forget the world for a while and do what you wish that others cannot really do.  Go for a swim in the blue oceans.  Go on a hike – or a mountain climb.  Better yet, do some bungee jumping.  Invest on knowing more of the self.  Maybe you could even skip across mountains.  You never know.

8.  Be willing.

One of the precepts of positive psychology is that you need to approach issues with an ever eager heart.  I know you may not like Justin Bieber, but just as he mentioned in his rather infamous number, never say never.

Have fun!  The world is a wide, wide place.  Allow your branches to explore.