Learning to Say No to the Naked Girl in the House

Let me tell you a story.

At the time when I was completing my undergraduate studies, during my last two semesters, I was up round the clock doing my part-time job and drafting up plans and brainstorming ideas with my team to lay the foundations of my business.  I also had to work on my senior project – which was, much to my pride, apparently the first actual human experiment to be conducted on-campus.

At that time, one of my juniors who was a foreign student would always hang out in my room because her rented room was too far from university. Sometimes she would bring another friend along with her baby. Most times she would turn the music on loud and walk around the house naked. Yes.

I also had another friend from a different faculty who would come every evening to ask me to help her with her assignments because her English sucked real bad. By real bad, I mean real, real bad. She did not understand what her lectures were about. She could not comprehend her assignments. She could not even remember what I taught her. I ended up going with her for days to the library just to help her with her assignments.

Okay, I was being quite helpful. Never did I express my tiredness or lack of time for my senior project. But as days caught on, I realized I was putting off a lot of my own assignments and postponing several deadlines – deadlines I set for myself. I began feeling as if I lost my value and energy. My hard work seemed to be running down the drain dealing with all the drama in the house.

Due to all the stress, I lost the job that had been feeding me for the past three years. I told my girlfriends no, I am sorry, but I cannot possibly help you anymore. But did they understand what I was telling them?

Well, I moved in with the one from the other faculty because she was willing to help me with the accommodation. But what I did not realize was that she did not even know how to send an email or write to her husband in English? I always wondered why the heck she could not write to him in their own native language? I also noticed that although I told her that I was quite busy with an exam the next day, she still asked me to help her with her presentations!

Oh, I hope you do not get into the same problem as I did. What did I do to solve the problem then? I scolded them vehemently. I also unfriended them. On top of that, I got up very early every morning at approximately 6AM, did my prayers, and then walked 500 meters to school. Every morning before the sun rose itself.  I tried studying in the library… until my friend who couldn’t understand English turned up again out of nowhere to ask me to assist her! One day she even brought another friend who was having issues with her own project.

God bless my heart and my soul. Why was getting away from my girlfriends so important? I had definitely sworn myself out of lesbianism, to be sure. So why did I have to give them a hearty scolding every time and run away as if I were the thief?

Because it is very crucial for my subjective well-being. I needed a lot of time to think about more important matters, like my fees – I was graduating soon anyway.

wp_ss_20160611_0001

Here I am talking to you on my video. And please, when you say no, please mean it. Don’t you dare laugh after saying it because there is nothing funny about the “No”. And no, I am not naked. (Photo credits to Alicia Leng)

Alone time. Hard, death-like situations are opportunities for growth, and to grow, you need to think. You need to rearrange your thoughts and give yourself a little peace of mind as you navigate yourself well. Even if you are not in a dead-end situation, you need some precious time for yourself. For growth. For self-care. That moves us to the next section.

Self-care. You only have all the time in the world to attend to every matter around you. Give yourself a little gift of time. Sip slowly over a hot cup of green tea, read your favorite detective novel, or simply do nothing for awhile. This leads to the next point.

Well-being. A holistic approach to self-care looks at not only proper functioning of the body, but also the well-being of the mind. We got a brain to think, not just for ourselves but also for others. This mass of grey matter, with all its fancy nucleus accumbens, mesolimbic dopaminergic pathways, and the stuff in your hippocampus (pardon my language) that puts you to making the right judgements – resembles other muscular tissues in the body, and requires consistent exercise to keep running. And as far as we help others do their thinking, we have to give ourselves a break to redirect our focus too.

Exercise. As mentioned earlier, self-care in the positive psychological perspective involves working out on a timely basis to keep physically and mentally fit. Join a dance class to get the entire body moving freely.

Opportunities for Self-development. Time is of essence, and the time in which we invest our time is very important. When you are already tied down with a long list of things to do,  it’s okay to say no. Just say it. Don’t even feel obligated. You need time to fine-tune your strengths, because stars don’t grow overnight. They always emerge from the core of mysterious nebulae and take millennia to mature. In the same way, great ideas always form from muddled-up minds of a plethora of experiences, knowledge, and wisdom altogether. You just need to reorganize your thoughts so you don’t leave them hanging. When you mix the ingredients for a cake in a bowl, and then put the whole thing in the microwave, you’ll get a cake in the end. Of course however well it’s done requires all the love, care, and patience it needs too. So you need to be very clear to anyone who is begging for your attention while you are trying to make an amazing cake, to be able to concentrate on making such a nice cake.

Of course in reality the cake is you, and I bet you are sweet too. What about those girls who came into the picture from the start of the story – did they stop asking me the same goddamn question? No, they didn’t.

Poor girl.

Red Scarlet

PS.: No one could find any photographs of the naked girl, so pardon me.

Marry My Ghost

Footsteps pounded on the pebbled ground in the rain tonight, splashing water and drips of mud around as the boots advanced. The thick raincoat swayed hastily in all directions as if attempting to catch up with the speed.

img_20161127_203230

Work of art by Alicia Leng.

I stopped writing to look out from my window and noticed the dark shadow of a woman sliding past the wall of cold, lifeless stones caught my eye. Eager to find out who that was, I picked up courage and dashed downstairs, out of the door of my apartment. The footsteps were still ringing clearly at the other end of the alley. I followed the direction of the sound.

Quick. I had to be quick.

At the end of the alley, however, I could find no shady woman. No black raincoat. No heavy shoes.

There was a lamp-post standing at the wall. Its light was weak and flickering, as if agonizing over every last breath that it had left.

Something gleamed from a bundle of old cloth hanging from the wall. It was an old mirror, about eight feet in height.

Pulling the cloth down, I hurriedly wiped off the centuries-old dust with my bare hands. They were wet from the rain, so cleaning a little was fairly easy. But then – my heart stopped.

My very own reflection. She was looking hard into my eyes, trying to speak to me. Her pallid face was a beautifully molded plastic mask that shone in the dark, the only source of light. I instantly fell for her. It was madness!

Could she possibly be me? Her beauty was perplexing; but was it really her after all, sneaking up through the alley at this time of the night to catch my attention, only to lock herself in an old mirror? I was spellbound; I couldn’t think rationally.

She raised her right hand and touched the glass from the other side, as if to answer the thousands of thoughts that were speeding through my mind like a bullet train – and I raised mine. I did not know why I did but I just followed her. Her palm touched mine… and in the next instant, a mighty force tugged me hard into the mirror, away from the physical world and all its beauty where I used to belong.

THE END

Red Scarlet

Postscript: Some say that when you have loved yourself too much, you start falling in love with all your dark secrets and truth. When you have become so enchanted with your own inner world, everything else that is in existence no longer matters anymore. You pick up the pieces of the past and put them together. You speak to your heart. And you become one with your soul.

Out on the Verge

Sorry if I talk too much; I cannot help it. It’s what I do. You know what’s life? EDM is life. Yes, I am talking about Skrillex. I am talking about Diplo, Tiesto, whatever else.

It has been almost one month since I turned 25, and I am looking forward to many exciting – sometimes even shocking – revelations in the coming year. No, I am not going to shave all my glorious hair off and go completely hard-Punk. On a daily basis I am quite busy at the office, and apart from that I am working on a few other projects, i.e. the Spirit of Sparta and the Water Gate Series. Spirit of Sparta is going to be my first ebook on the Amazon, and just in case you have been wondering, it is an autobiography. The Water Gate Series on the other hand is a selection of children’s books for cognitive and English language training.

Not to forget, there’s also the Electronic Dance Music event geared towards happiness and the positive psychology experience. At present I am still open to investments and venture capital from any interested party.

instagramcapture_205e40a1-005d-4263-a1be-5f55d924a67f

Out on the verge to something new. (Photo credits to Alicia Leng)

As you can see, I am running all around looking for solutions. Being critical requires looking from not just one idea, but several plausible answers. I am on the tipping point of madness having to sit and write, and at the same time improvise on plans and such. I am trying to make sure the ship I am manning stays afloat and sails through successfully. The end of the tunnel is a little more than halfway through, but I can see light at the other side. I am being bloody hopeful.

My dream is out on the verge of becoming a reality, and that’s what I am hard at work with.

Red Scarlet

 

 

Yin and Yang, Homeostasis, and the Great Escape

There’s a reason why I include a #PosPsy in most of my posts on Twitter and Facebook. It is something significant, very new, yet very powerful.

Earth. Fire. Water.

In ancient Chinese medical terminology, the yin and yang has traditionally been considered crucial to health. An imbalance creates a disturbance in the immune system, leaving the body vulnerable to sickness. The concept stood extremely well through, that, till today, a lot of people are still counting on it to restore their health and heal themselves.

Scientifically, this refers to homeostasis, in which bodily systems must function in equilibrium to maintain a balance in the human immunology. Thus, a balanced exposure to earth (Nature), fire (the Sun), and water (rain, or swimming in the ocean, perhaps) creates a healthy mindset that is consistently firing positive motivation to keep your heads up in the name of life.

Positive psychology is not the law of attraction. It is a science unlike the latter, which has no research, no scientific backup, no validation. To think positively you have to decide to make the change in your life to start doing activities that are meaningful not only to you, but to everyone else. You have to be proactive and committed to using the right approach. In effect, it is doing more than thinking, acting more than praying and hoping for the best. It is a journey through a city called happiness, in which there are absolutely no shortcuts.

This is why I do what I do. I have returned from a trip to Langkawi Island not too long ago. Guess what – I paraglided! Of course I did not go in my white bikini. I do have a white bikini; see 👙. However, because I went all by myself (I was supposed to accompany my boyfriend somewhere in the morning, but I acted sleepy) I wore my favorite Batman t-shirt. The whole experience lasted for approximately 30 minutes, so I managed to return to the hotel before my boyfriend came home! 😁

wp_20161108_002

The Great Escape is essential. (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng.)

Red Scarlet 

Parachuting, Skydiving, and A Little White Bikini

So, it seems like I am turning 15 (oops) in a few days. I have applied for a three-day leave to go to an island outside of town. I’m so super excited!!!

I cannot wait to jump into the beautiful blue ocean in my white bikini (pardon me). I will dive in as deep down as I can go. Oh my god…. The bitch [sic]! Well, it’s going to be really fun to be out in the sun getting the vitamins. I envision myself laying on the sand sipping on orange juice, I suppose, sunglasses on over my eyes. I’ll just do that, I guess, while drowning my heartbeat into the sound of the waves washing the shore repeatedly. Or probably I’ll dance on the beach, with my radio playing Closer by The Chainsmokers and a bright yellow beach ball on my hands. Oh my.

There’s an endless list of things that I want to do on the beach and in the sea. But wait! One more thing… skydiving packages are available, and so are parachuting packages. Which one should I go for?? Oh my gosh, if I do sky dive, it’s going to be my first time yet. And if I parachute, it’s going to be my second! So what if I parachute???

I don’t know whether I will be in my white bikini still, but we’ll see. 😊

J’taime adore,

Red Scarlet

PS: Y’all know I’m underaged, and that’s a lie.

img-20160918-wa0052

I’m underaged; y’all know it. (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Whispers in My Head

Shush. Stay silent, wherever you are. Listen to the sound of your heartbeat.

Do you not hear footsteps from afar?

Do you know if they are after you? Do you think you can make them disapprove? When the whispers are so soft, yet louder than your call? Do you feel you have what it takes to bring them to their senses ?

As the ink blots the paper, and the nib of the pen engraves the table in contemplation, the whispers say something I have always heard. The same, old, sad, sickening story. They tell me that I am too far to turn around, too far to leave, too old to strike another pot, too weak to lift myself, too this, too that. They tell me that I am too pale to look healthy, too ordinary to fit in, and too optimistic to make sense.

Well, I wish I could set the goddamn table into flames. I really do.

Because somewhere skipping in the back of my head, a little devil grins mischievously and asks, “Why not?” 😊

Red Scarlet

 twitterd198085

Life

It bites. You scream in pain. It stings. You holler. It pinches. You yelp in agony. It scratches. You moan sympathetically. It locks you up in chains. You cry out. It snares at you. You whimper.

And then it licks you all around playfully. It overwhelmes you with love. It consumes you in its erotica, leaving you breathless. It shows you its gold and diamonds, endless treasure.

But just when you are trying to allow yourself to be fully submerged into its calmness, it rises up so high that it looms over your little head, and engulfs you, and drowns you into its nothingness.

When will this end? Is life really a trivial matter, and do we truly let ourselves to be played on in its little – and sometimes deadly – games? Probably the childlike soul is frolicking in its own deadly hide-and-seek, experimenting and testing the vulnerability of the body in which it is its abode.

The truth is, until you take charge, these so-called little games will never end.

And that’s just life for you.

Red Scarlet