A Letter to My Brother

Alexander Winifred (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Alexander Winifred.  (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Dear Alex,

You have been a strong-spirited runner and athlete, brother, and son. Your quiet strength was demonstrated through your artworks. You have always been a great digital artist and wonderful writer. Despite the shortcomings you faced as a child, and even more so now, you chose to stay strong and tread through.

Though we do not share the same surname, we have so much more in common. So much more than at surface level. We look the same, share the same dreams, the same bed too, sometimes. Remember those days? We shared the same cane also, at times when poor MaMa was so mad.

It is really unfortunate that you have to go through all these in spite of your age. I never wanted to have you go through all of them alone. Know that though I may be silent, I am vehemently against whatever wrong that has been done to you.

Life is too short, dear brother, too short to go through pain. It is of my most sincere desire that you put your hectic life to a temporary halt, however short, and look back. And remember the times we shared, gazing at the twinkling stars in the night sky and talking endlessly about all the wonderful things we would do when we grow up.

Do you still recall, O Brother, how I used to hug your little head to my chest when poor MaMa hit you so badly? Do you still remember, O Brother, how I tried, best as I could, to comfort you when poor MaMa’s wrath destroyed your hard work?

You have changed because that is always what happens as time goes by – but I have not forgotten. Your heart may be still and cold and hard because of misunderstanding, but I have not had an earlier opportunity to open my mouth.  I may be silent, but I refuse to accept what is not mine.  I may not have uttered a single word, but my heart was bleeding as I watched tears stream out of your little eyes.

You cannot blame someone for something that have never done. Such is one of the worst sins as they result in Hatred, Anger, Jealousy, Dissatisfaction, Hurt, and Pain.

I pray everyday a short, silent, heart-breathed prayer that you are well and strong no matter where you are and what you do. You are now a far-fetched young man with a great many skills and accomplishments. On top of that, I honor you, O brother, for having helped me stand on my two feet that were once broken.

I hope it is not too late for you to turn around now. We had only each other in the darkest hours on Earth. Now it is still not totally light yet, but I do pray that the days do not turn darker for you as Time whizzes by and does its magic.

Dear brother, you shall always be a part of me. A part of my heart. Let go the clutches and live.  Continue running, sprinting, chasing after dreams, dreams that are not of others, but of your own.  Pave your own path toward success, and reinvent yourself.

That is all I shall want to say.  Happy Birthday.

Faithfully yours,

Red Scarlet

*PS:  The author would like to dedicate this short article to her beloved brother who is turning 19 on October 3, 2014.

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My Chemical Romance

I just finished guiding my students; it is a national holiday, yet there I was making the sweet Yemeni child who was obviously bigger than me comprehend the first subtopic of Chemistry.  I attempted to make the lesson as interesting as possible, so neither of us would sleep!  Just kidding.

The particles of matter – I likened the structure to the social relationships in the world.  Not that kind of social relationships, but any kind for the matter.

Negatives in the world attract, whereas positives repel.  The things is that the Law of the Universe always is at work to shift everything to balance.  With this equilibrium is a state of homeostasis that is achieved.  A state in which nothing is neither too hot nor too cold, neither too big nor too small.  Where all is stashed away in a certain balance.

When one has too much of a charge, it pulsates with energy, first gaining momentum and then colliding with other particles in the neighborhood.  That is just how we are.

Energetic and enthusiastic individuals frolicking with energy tend to move about more.  They enjoy meeting new people and are more sociable in essence.

Those who keep to themselves most of the time – or all of the time, even – are usually withdrawn and do not confide much.  The stance goes on, until one of them picks up energy from somewhere else.  Then he will start radiating with much fun and excitement, and the whole place will light up because of him.

The point is, would you rather be the energetic particle radiating your love and affection and excitement to the rest of your surroundings?

My Chemical Romance.  (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

My Chemical Romance. (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Do Not Judge a Book By Its Cover

A Tuesday, really hazy – but I had preemptly decided to spend the day painting my burrow and writing and swimming.  I would also like to talk about a saying I would very much like to call my very own, but of course was quoted by someone else.

Ummm… do not judge a book by its cover.  It could be a hard cover, or a soft cover; nevertheless in any case, never judge its contents.  The cover, regardless of how strong, artistic, or downright plain it is, does not explain its contents’ depth.

The cover can definitely be a summary of its contents, anyhow.  It is in fact the summation of the chapters in the book (where Z = x^1 + x^2+x^3+x^4+x^5…+x^6).

The previous, current, and future chapters of your life. They are all written down. (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

The previous, current, and future chapters of your life. They are all written down. (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Likewise… so is a person.  The individual is a compilation of several chapters folded and consequently binded together.  Every time after a particular chapter of an individual’s life passes, he or she has learned something.  Anything, that could be either good or bad – the point is that one has learnt something.  Which is what makes up one’s self.  It is so because such circumstances have emblazoned themselves in the heart, mind, and soul of one’s very being.

Now it is time to talk about the effort expended  on creating the cover.  It could be a grief story, a story full of joy and success, or otherwise some imaginary scandalous affair, but one thing remains similar throughout.  That is the fact that the author always does his best to make it look appealing and presentable.

There is nothing wrong in that – no matter what occurs, we do whatever we can to put a smile on the faces of the people we meet.  I have completed my five laps of butterfly and breast strokes in the pool today.  I feel a little dizzy after making my plunge in the community pool.  Probably because this is the first in like four years since I last swam.  There is definitely more swimming in the future.

Anyhow I was considering using a movie or an album cover as a metaphor, but that would be a little absurd.  I decided that a book would be much better.

My Psychoanalysis

It is now September 14, 2014 – an extremely hot, sunny day.  I have just finished lunch, and replied some company stuff, so now I have another fifteen minutes to do some writing.

I have to admit – my mind is racing!  Okay, let’s relax a little bit.

My Psychoanalysis.  (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

My psychoanalysis. (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

You see, I am very aware that I have an incredible pal to maintain.  She is still in her youth, yet unlike the rest of the infants her age, she has this beautiful, captivating silence.

She is always here, there, everywhere to me.  For me.  There is no one as patient as she is who listens a full, absolute 100% to every rant, every muse, and every single glimmer, hope, and love, and lust that exists in my heart at any point of time.  The best part is that she is always behind me as I walk  through life’s little and big journeys.  She shares my delight with me; and when I wound up in a dead end, she helps to guide me back to the open roads again so others can see me.  That is why I invest a lot of effort in setting the stage for her appearances.

She is my sexy psychologist of whom I have grown totally fond of, my very own psychoanalysis.  She does not just exist for me; she lives for you too, and that is very incredible.  I may be visiting her a little lesser these days due to my working around the clock, but I still post her my love letters every now and then.

P.  S.  I am not a lesbian.  I am in love with who I am.  Peace!

Red Scarlet

It’s My Life

One of my favorite songs is It’s My Life by Bon Jovi.  It is an all-time ever since my youth  -well, aye, I admit I am still not too old.

It features a young man in his early 20’s dashing through busy roads and jams and leaping over walls just to meet up with his girlfriend who is at an underground concert.  Midway through his “adventure”, he halts quite abruptly at the side of the bridge and stoops to look down; the automobiles below are driving crazy, as if they were in an autobahn.  As swift as a cheetah, he leaps all the way down, landing on top of an extremely huge tanker. He was fortunate – or should I put it the other way, god was by his side – as he would be torn to pieces if the jump was unsuccessful.

Oh, how I wish my boyfriend really were like that.  Which is the beauty of fantasy.  But, hey, let’s not go there now.  We shall follow through the lyrics if you shall.

The lines were as below.

Live your life! (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

Live your life! (Photo credits to Alicia Ai Leng)

It’s my life

It’s now or never

I don’t live for ever

I just want to live when I’m alive

It’s my life.

Those very words are what I want you to focus on.  Instead of dwelling on the past, choose to concentrate on the present, the right here, and the right now.  Choose to live – yes, for other people – but more importantly, for yourself.

For a moment, take a pause.  For a moment, hesitate.  In a quick reflection that shutters off rapidly in a matter of seconds, dare yourself to scrutinize all the events from the very beginning with a clear-cut, unbiased perspective.

It is your life that you only live once and no more.  Opportunities do not knock at your door all the time; I mean it is not like you do not allow them to, but that just does not happen.  Seize every chance as a golden opportunity to learn, grow, and mature.  And more importantly, do not fear yourself.

Be wild.  Think wild.  Act wild.  Take the leap.  This… is your life.

Red Scarlet

The Sky is not the Limit

Several years ago, my dear younger brother graduated from high school with a grade point average of 4.0 flat – at the age of only 13. He had written an award-winning composition titled The Sky is not The Limit, which had him admitted to aeronautics engineering school for undergraduate studies.

On the other hand, I had completed at around the same time. I was about 17 back then. I had two choices where I wanted to further my studies: Either as a doctor, or as a pilot.

Nearly six years have passed, and he is now a full-time writer at the Malay Mail, and I am another year to the completion of ny degree in psychology. How dramatic changes in life are!

I do want to go on and do my masters and my post-graduate, and eventually carry the “Doctor” title with my name. That would definitely be nice. It has always been my dream.

After an array of hum-dums, I have decided to slowly freeze everything and join the air forces for a while. Then when I return to land I will shift my focus to other projects.

All I can say is I can do so much as long as I am able to. I am still young!